Sorrows and Smiles

Oh this week....a mistake, a heartbreak, a sacrifice, a love renewed. That's a lot to happen in one week but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I have learned so much in the last few weeks that has proven itself in the last few days. I have learned that so many people in this world are afraid of feeling. That's why so many end up alone. That's why so many doubt the existence of our Heavenly Father. That's why so much bad happens in the world. I have learned that we all are guarded and try our best to protect ourselves from pain. What a ridiculous attempt for without pain there is no joy.

I will admit that my life is always full of dramatic dialogues and absurd story lines but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love how spontaneous I am. I am sad though that life has suppressed my free spirit in the last couple of years. I used to love with no reservations. I used to give my all. I have become so cautious. I want to love freely. Though love makes us vulnerable I would much rather spend a day loving and 100 hurting than avoiding those 100 days only to realize that there isn't a day left to love. I have to learn to let go and allow love to fill my heart. We were sent here to love one another and yet sometimes it can be the most difficult part of living. But without love we aren't really living. Love heals us. Love protects us. Love makes us who we are. Love from others, love for others, love for ourselves...it all counts.

I have to block out the negative energy and allow only love to reside in me. I have to destroy my doubts and reservations about loving and open myself up to a world of joy. The world wants us to be unhappy...like attracts like. My goal is to love and I will be loved. My goal is to find joy and I will bring joy. Those who are struggling or have closed themselves off to happier aspirations may say that I am too young or it will never work but to them I say "Watch me!" If I have learned one thing so far in life it's that most people who give you advice do so because they had a bad experience. I don't want my head to dictate situations that involve the heart. I don't want to ever feel like I didn't love enough. What a sad thought. I just want to make sure that I am loving to my fullest every single day and lay my head down at night knowing I did my very best.

Love....it's full of sorrows and smiles but in the end you'll only remember every moment that created those smiles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N2v9gRNcrg